Raising them Right!

Hello fitness magazine came across a parenting expert Riddhi Deorah, who has a unique style of raising kids. From personal experiences, she renders the simplest techniques of raising them right. Have a kid at home? Keep scrolling, since this article is going to change your entire approach of parenting and is going to help you make peace!

Model confidence yourself

Confident parents raise confident kids. If you have something challenging to take care of, stay calm and composed by looking at the positive side. Remember your child is mirroring you. By modelling confidence, I don't mean that you pretend to be 100% normal when you aren't honestly feeling that way.

However, you can acknowledge your stress and anxiety without getting consumed by it.

Provide encouragement

When you introduce your child to new things, give them time to explore and learn the process. Differentiate introduction and force without depriving them of the joy of learning.

While doing this, they start to believe that they can understand which helps them prepare to tackle new challenges.

Mistakes are fun

Don’t always expect your child to do everything right. Mistakes are a part of learning and you don’t want your child to be afraid of them. Instead, tell your child that it is completely okay to make mistakes and he/she must learn from them.

Remember, Thomas Edison made 1000 unsuccessful attempts before he invented the light bulb.

Allow kids to fail

As parents, we want to prevent our kids from failing a school exam, losing a football match or losing a race which emotionally protects them from the feeling of failure.

However, it is through exploration, effort and hard work they can move closer to success. If you are racing with your child, don’t let them come first. Let them lose a few times and then let them win when you can see that they are trying hard to win.

Over praising

Do not focus on praising the outcome and your child too much. This leads to what is called the “I am attitude” or the fixed mindset.

A fixed mindset is a mindset that is not open to change.

Avoid using phrases such as “You are the best”, ‘you are great”, “you are amazing”, “you are the prettiest”, etc. It will make it very tough for your child to adjust to places where they are not the best, prettiest or smartest.

Instead, focus on the process. For example, “I like that you are trying to wear a new colour today, it suits you.”, “I like how you put some toys back in place today”, “I like how you are trying to solve this problem”, etc.

Help kids identify their passion

Help your child find the things that they are good at. Being good/ better at something can help improve their confidence and self-esteem. This improves their self worth and they might end up pursuing it professionally when they grow older.

Goal Setting

Help your kids set goals and then show them how they can take small actionable steps.

For example, if the child wants to play cricket for the Indian team, then the long-term goal is to get selected for the national team and the short-term goal can be to play at a regional level.

Action steps: Eat healthy, exercise, practice and work on mental strength.

A helping hand

Kids feel very empowered when they are asked to do work that adults do. Let your child help out with age-appropriate tasks. For example, turning on and off the lights, washing the vegetables, setting the table, selecting clothes, doing things for the younger sibling, etc.

Being a part of the family chores and responsibilities makes them feel very confident and invaluable.

Being Imperfect is Normal

We must send the message to our children that being real, honest, authentic and comfortable is what matters. This imparts realistic expectations from themselves and others.

You must tell your child that you love him/her just as he/she is, that you love them for who they are and not for what they do.

Summary

Now you know the recipe for raising kids that have strong independent minds, so begin cooking and show gratitude.

Much love,

Riddhi Deorah