Importance of Sex Education by Psychologist Varsha Tekwani

Now sex as a word has grabbed your attention and you have probably started reading this article, so clearly it’s something that takes every one of our attention. But do we give the same importance to sex “Education” or even educating ourselves about sex? We sure know tons of people who don't.

Hello Fitness Magazine's expert psychologist Varsha Tekwani pens down her expertise on sex education and its importance.encounters.

1. A sight to Sex -

It's a hush-hush topic and we don’t generally talk or discuss it. We seldom help each other or even provide a safe space to discuss our sexual problems. Sex is clearly a big part of our life, marriages, and overall life span. So what is this secrecy about?

Sex and intimacy are desirable to everyone. It makes us happy, needed, pleasurable, close to someone, and brings us close to ourselves too. So something that makes us happy, how can that thing be dirty or taboo?

2. Importance of Sex Education -

As a population we are so uncomfortable talking about sex and related things, many of our teachers even skipped that chapter (mine did!).

However, we all know that we took birth because two people decided to have sex. The consequences of lack of sex education being- a high rate of unwanted pregnancies, less knowledge about STDs and other sexually transmitted diseases, and even lesser knowledge about our own body parts and what they are called.

Now, How does one learn about this?

Most of the country’s youth is dependent on porn to learn anything about sex. And as we all know porn is totally unrealistic. It shows picture-perfect bodies of males and females, which might induce insecurities about our own. They don't show what real sex is like. So clearly porn is not something to turn to when learning about sex. This is why Sex education is necessary.

Sex educators teach you about your body, give you the right vocabulary, different products, and contraceptives, tell you what’s normal and what’s abnormal, and how to love our bodies in our ways. One needs to understand how things work in our bodies. Enough said in simple words we can now start consulting sex educators as normally we consult a doctor for flu. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

3. Age of sex education

It’s an ongoing process that has to happen between parent and child without missing any opportunity. There is no particular age to this. Kids can be curious and ask some sex-related questions as early as 5 or 6 years old. The popular question is where do kids come from? Parents shouldn’t shy away from such innocent questions and never shut out innocent minds. They should answer it in a manner that satisfies the child's curiosity without distorting the actual process. Don’t scold or shut them when they ask such questions, instead encourage and create an open window.

Otherwise, they become awkward with you and will look out for other resources like porn or friends, both of which cannot give better education than parents. Give them proper scientific answers according to their age.

4. How to educate?

i) 3-5 yrs old:

When it comes to kids, start with telling them the main body parts. Then talk about private parts. Talk to them about safe touch and unsafe touch. Tell them about what to do when you feel uncomfortable with someone and about their touch. Always tell them the real name (like penis and vulva) and not other names of private parts.

ii) 6-8 yrs old:

Now that they know about good touch, bad touch, and their private parts, they ask more like how do kids come?

Here, be careful to not make up stories. Tell them according to their age and capacity. So when in future you tell them the whole reality they can relate with it.

iii) 9-12 yrs old:

This is a very important period for them. There are a lot of physical and mental changes happening inside of their body. So it’s a good idea to tell them about such changes beforehand. Tell them that their private parts will change, there will be spurts of hair growth, voices will change in boys, and periods will start in girls. So if the child already knows about these things they will not panic when they notice such changes occur in their bodies. Also, they have a lot of mood swings. Just validating their emotions will make a huge difference.

iv) 13-18 yrs old:

From this age onwards everything will be more related to sex, pregnancies, contraceptives, STDs, and other sexually transmitted diseases. Be careful for it's not like we have to tell them everything at the age of 13. We need to introduce everything slowly and gradually as per their mental capacity and give them enough time to wrap their minds around everything. Also, observe your child. If they are totally into studies, then you can tell them slowly, but if your child is very curious then you must discuss such things beforehand. So look out for their interest, and also tell them the right age to engage in sexual activities and explore options of pleasure.

Sex education is an important part of our education and it's time we talk about it openly. Let's learn, know, be aware and appreciate our bodies.

Varsha Tekwani

Varsha Tekwani is an Experienced Psychotherapist with a demonstrated history of working in the human resources industry. Skilled in Adolescent Therapy, Psychotherapy, Grief Counseling, Depression Treatment, and Health Psychology. Strong healthcare services professional with a Master of Arts - MA focused in clinical Psychology from Indira Gandhi National Open University.

If you are looking for more detail about child sex education, visit Psychologist Varsha Tekwani