Mindful Parenting - A Vertical by Nidhi Manan Shah

Nidhi Manan Shah, Advocate of the Gujarat High Court, the mother of two adorable kids, and a fantastic soul sips over coffee, playdates and agreements.

Parenting today has transformed into a competition. Every parent wants to win the race, and in the so-called parenting marathon, we forget the true essence. You don't become a good parent by mere fulfillment of their demands. Nidhi Manan Shah beleives that significant part of it is about helping the child deal with failures and setbacks, making them understand that failure is a part of the learning process because, in the end, it's the hard work and perseverance that matters.

Our duty as a parent is to support them in their learning process while giving them wings to think independently & teaching them to be self-reliant. It might need us to disassociate ourselves from our kids at times to give them space to figure things out on their own. It's their journey, after all!

One cannot teach gratitude; you imbibe from the surroundings

An absolute requisite for kids is to value small things in life; the readily available mantra has reduced the actual value of things. They need to be grateful for whatever they are getting in life, whether small or big. In today's times, kids have forgotten to be grateful often. And this is possible when we as parents show gratitude with a small gesture of thanks, kindness with house-help, greeting everyone with a smile, etc. These small gestures are observed very well and imitated when you least expect them.

Talk to them

An enormous tool to ease the process of parenting is communication. Talk to the kids politely, respect their opinions, pay attention when they are talking, treat them kindly because these little efforts are reciprocated very well. Their funny, nonsensical thoughts ease their minds when it's heard, and it crafts a great bond between parents and kids. It ensures them that there is someone who is all ears!

Ensuring their vitals

Terrible twos, temper tantrums, fussy meal times, picky eaters; every child has their own forte. I have been lucky with my firstborn, but my secondborn is the naughtiest of all. It requires a lot of patience and tactics to ensure their health demands are met. As far as feeding them nutritious food is concerned, I believe in this concept:

What & how do you feed? The mom decides.

When & how much? The baby decides.

If you figure out how to strike a balance with this, it works. Parenting is a process of trials and errors. There is no one key for all the locks, and it comes with experience and learning.

There will always be the last time!

Our core responsibility is to make them capable, help them become good human beings in life; to cultivate empathy, honesty, self-reliance, kindness in them; to motivate them to be better and positive in life; to encourage the desire to achieve content; to prepare them for future, and to enable them to create their own happy space. It is vital to teach them to find happiness in small things like being together, going on short picnics, watching movies, having family dinner, and being with the kid physically and emotionally. Because there will always be the last time; the last time you'll rock them to sleep, the last time they will need your support to walk, the last time they will not cry when you move out of the house, the last time they will not require you in bed, the last time they will depend on your finances, and the last time they stay 24 hours at your place. Try making as many memories as you can; they won't be babies for long.

"It is not what you do for your children, but what you have taught them to do for themselves that will make them happy human beings." - Ann Landers. So let us raise good humans.